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From the very first day I saw your picture on Mate1
I was taken by you. I was nervous, scared, excited.... Kinda like a kid in the candy store feeling. I knew I wanted you. You
were someone I wanted. So I took the chance of writing you.
I emailed you the first time on 4/13/06 and told you about myself.... you then replyed on
4/15/06 telling me that you were with someone else. My heart sank like the Titanic but you said you wouldn't mind hanging
out and becoming friends. I then asked you to dinner on the 17th then we met on the 18th. At least that's how I remember it.
I remember getting 6 or 7 e-mails from you on the 17th and I was thinking to myself.... self if she was just wanting to be
your friend then why so much mail? LMAO I knew from that moment on I had to give you chase....
I remember hurrying home to get ready.... That
was a trip I damn near killed myself trying to get ready in like 7 minutes! I fell outta the shower, tripped over the
toilet, slammed my hand in the dryer trying to get a towel, slid on the floor running to my bedroom cause my feet were wet,
I had clothes everywhere cause I didn't know what to wear, the phone was ringing off the hook! My ex was calling ( I didn't
answer) my cousin was calling cause he found out I had a date, it was needless to say a very busy 7 minutes! I ran back down
the hall brushed my teeth and put gel in my hair, slapped some gel in my hair ran to the front door and grabbed my keys and
slammed the door. I stopped for a brief second looked at my cars and said hmmm I bet she would dig a dyke in a truck! Jumped
in my truck and did 85-90 mph to meet you.
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When I saw you for the first time I broke out in a sweat and I got nervous as hell! I was thinking
to myself.... OMG I'm in trouble.... she's beautiful.... what am I going to do? Needless to say it was love at first sight
for me. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, my legs were even like jello.... and my eyes I couldn't keep them off
of you. I couldn't quit smiling and even when I wasn't smiling it was like sunshine inside my body. I didn't want to give
you the wrong idea and I didn't want you to think that I was going after you because I knew you were with someone else. But
GODDESS knows I was thinking all of those things. Thinking damn I want her for my very own. I want to sweep her off her feet.
I want HER to love me! I want to be her butch!
I know I don't tell you everything and that's my fault.... I should never let you forget how much
you are loved and adored. When I fell in love with you I vowed to myself that I would always be there for you. I would walk
thru fire for you, give you anything I have and do without just so you could have what you want and need, care for you, love
you unconditionally, and try to be understanding of your wants and needs as well as desires. I'm trying to be a better lover,
friend, as well as wife. I'm trying to get my issues str8 with the trust thing. I know I'm not very good at it. And I also
know that I'm still mixed up about alotta things. But I promise you if you need your friends and time away from me then do
it. I want nothing more for you than your happiness. I can't love you anymore than I do. I know I've been an ass about my
job but I have been trying to get something different. I always include you in everything I do. Be it work or play I always
ask your opinion. I'm never selfish and I'm always giving. I will always be in your life even if I'm not your entire life
like I would like it to be. I'm sorry that I'm mixed up about things but that's just the way I was raised I guess. I'm an
old-schooler I was taught differently I guess. So it's gonna take some time for me to understand entirely why the grass is
green and the sky is blue or why it seems to be quite gray from time to time. But whatever happens I'll always love you with
all my heart. People don't fall outta love they just lose touch sometimes. And sometimes people are like me and blinded by
the dream of love and a relationship. I found what I wanted in you. I found a love that I've never experienced before in my
lifetime. I gave my all and still am. So you need NOT worry about me I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. I want
you to have everything you hope for, dream of, need, desire, I want you to have it all. I'll get mine eventually when you
find yourself again. When you've had your time to experience some life and have fun. To enjoy things that you've not yet had
time to endure. So I'll be here when you've had your chance to live life to the fullest. And I'll still be here with open
arms when you're ready to settle in them. I love you and I can't give you much more than this. Your life is your own.... And
Baby I love you!
Love like you've never been hurt and
live like there's no tomorrow.....
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